


What Ifs

by hockeylvr59 (gleefanatic)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2021-04-17
Packaged: 2021-04-22 09:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22167163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gleefanatic/pseuds/hockeylvr59
Summary: Some playful sexual innuendo and alcohol consumption in this chapter.
Relationships: Jeff Skinner/Reader
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

It was finally summer vacation. Well, as much of a summer vacation as being an adult allowed. Since you were little, the week surrounding the 4th of July was the one time a year you’d get to see all of your cousins. It was so important to you that you made sure to get off work even now, in order to go up to your grandmother’s cottage.

For the most part, you spent your time swimming in the creek, skipping rocks, hanging out by the fire talking and playing charades, or on the porch playing card or dice games. Of course there were occasional trips to the store, or out for ice cream, and every few years a group of you drove up to the spillway to see the fish.

This year your cousin had brought her boyfriend along and so a group of you went to show him the spillway for the first time. It was always crazy seeing just how many fish could be crammed into an area, to the point that the waterfowl were able to walk on their backs.

As you were getting ready to leave one of your cousins asked about the fish having been sick the previous year or two and so you pulled your phone from your pocket to google while you walked. You definitely should have known better because after a moment your body slammed forward and then bounced back like you had walked into a wall.

And maybe you had…except walls didn’t usually reach out to catch you from falling.

Hearing a male voice ask if you were okay you nodded and before looking up began to apologize for not watching where you were walking. A giggle assured you that it was okay and when you finally met the gaze of the man in front of you, your eyes went wide and you gasped.

“Holy shit…” You murmured. Either this man was a damn good lookalike for Jeff Skinner or the Sabres forward himself was standing in front of you. A lookalike wouldn’t have that damn giggle though and so that simply left one option. Why Jeff Skinner was here in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania was another question entirely.

In the moment it had taken your brain to process all of that, Jeff had started running his fingers through his hair and a blush rose on your cheeks as you gripped your phone tightly between your fingers.

“You know who I am?” He asked and when you nodded his own cheeks flushed and after a moment he smiled. Hearing your family call your name you cursed under your breath before pulling back.

“That’s me…guess I have to go.” You murmured. “Enjoy the fish. It’s kind of a weird but cool thing.” There was certainly a large part that wanted to ask for an autograph or a picture but he was clearly on vacation himself and bumping into him had been enough of an intrusion into his day.

“Hey y/n…wait…” He called when you stepped around him to meet your family at the car. The fact that he had said your name alone made you pause and glancing back at him you tilted your head in curiosity.

“I um…I don’t know how long you’ll be in the area but I’m staying up near Erie for the rest of the week. I uh…if you go up that way maybe we could meet up and talk?”

The question completely caught you off guard and your sisters called your name again.

“I…I’d really like that.” You finally managed. Seconds later Jeff’s phone was in your hands and opening his call feature you quickly dialed your own number before handing it back. “I uh..I’ll let you know if we come up to Erie…”

“Sounds good.” He breathed and as you climbed into the back of the car you glared at your sisters and cousins daring them to say something and then sighed in relief when they let it go.

____

Once back at the cottage you slipped your phone from your pocket and clicked on the number that had called you not even half an hour before to add it into your contacts. You really didn’t expect that Jeff would try to get in contact with you again. After all, you’d simply run into him and then had spent not even two minutes in his presence and he was an NHLer who could have pretty much any girl in the world.

Still, when, that evening at dinner, a trip up to Lake Erie to swim, since the creek was really too high to enjoy, was proposed, you were all for it. You did really want to swim and sunbathe on the beach but if you were up at Erie, there was really no excuse not to invite Jeff and see if he actually meant what he had said.

After checking the forecast it was decided that a trip would be made to the lake not tomorrow but the following day. So, before falling asleep that night, you’d sent Jeff a text telling him that you would indeed be in the Erie area and that he was welcome to come if he didn’t already have plans. Laying awake you wondered if he would actually respond, the reasonable side of your mind telling you not to get your hopes up.

To your surprise, the following morning you woke up to a text declaring that he’d love to meet you at the beach and to let him know when and where you were when you got there. Simply replying with a ‘thumbs up’ emoji you proceeded to get dressed for the day to just enjoy hanging out with your family.

It wasn’t until you and your sister went out on the kayaks that the topic of the previous day was brought up. Your sister was significantly younger than you but at the same time was probably the one person you felt most comfortable talking to.

“So…are you gonna spill on who that guy yesterday was?” She asked as you paddled upstream, keeping your eyes on the banks in hopes of seeing the bald eagle that was known to nest nearby.

“He…uh…he’s a hockey player for the Buffalo Sabres.” You stated softly causing your sister’s head to snap in your direction.

“Woah, seriously? What the hell was he doing at the spillway?”

“I don’t really know. I just bumped into him y/s/n. He caught me from falling and when I looked up I immediately recognized him.”

“Oh god, is he one of your hockey crushes?” She questioned rolling her eyes at you because she was well aware of your obsession with the sport’s athletes.

“I mean kind of, yeah, he’s adorable. He has the best smile ever and his dimples are adorable. He was a figure skater growing up and so I could honestly watch him skate all day. He used to play for Carolina before getting traded to Buffalo.”

“And you didn’t ask for an autograph or selfie?” She added knowing that if you had it would be pretty obvious.

“No. I didn’t want to bother him any more than I had already. He’s on vacation clearly.”

The conversation lulled for a moment as you continued to paddle before turning around to head back downstream.

“But he gave me his number and is going to meet us at the beach tomorrow.” You added softly, straighening out your kayak before just starting to drift for a moment.

“What?!” Your sister exclaimed nearly losing her paddle into the water in the process.

“Yeah…I didn’t ask for anything and instead told him to enjoy the spillway and when I turned to leave he told me to wait and the next thing I know he’s handing me his phone and suggesting that if I was going to be in the Erie area that we meet up. So I called myself so he had my number and that was that. I uh…texted him last night about the lake, not expecting a response mind you, but this morning there was a text declaring that that sounded like fun and to let him know when and where we were when we get there.”

“Damn..this vacation just got interesting.” You sister teased.

“Don’t say anything to anyone else please. It’s not a big deal.”

“I won’t, but are you trying to convince me or yourself because this seems like a pretty big deal.” Glaring at her as you pulled the kayaks up to the bank and climbed out she simply shoved you before the two of you headed back inside to get something to drink.

____

The drive up to Erie wasn’t too bad, you rode with your female cousins and sisters so that you could blare music and sing the entire way while all of the parents drove seperately.

Thankfully while the beach was busy, it wasn’t overly crowded. Finding a spot you noted down what beach number you were at and then helped unload everything from the suv. You had worn your swim suit under your clothes so you didn’t need to change before heading to find a spot to sprawl out. While everyone was making themselves comfortable on the beach, you shot a quick text to Jeff telling him that you were there and where at before you grabbed your own towel, settling at the outer edge of where your family was. Slipping off your sandals, you let your sister spray you down with sunscreen before settling back onto the towel.

Jeff hadn’t responded and part of you wondered if something had come up that took priority over hanging with some stranger. Just as you had given up hope of him showing someone asked if the spot next to you was taken and glancing up you couldn’t help but blush as Jeff’s smiling face looked down at you.

“I mean I was kind of saving it for someone but he never texted me back so I don’t think he’s going to show.” You teased before motioning for him to make himself comfortable.

“Sorry.” He replied and you shook your head to assure him that it was really fine.

“You’re here aren’t you?” You asked and he gave you a bit of a smirk before reaching into the bag he’d brought for sunscreen.

“I’m Jeff by the way. I know you know that but we didn’t really get to introduce ourselves.” He added holding out a hand for you to shake which caused you to laugh quietly.

“Y/N.” You responded, reaching to take a sip out of your water bottle before laying back on your towel, all the while peeking through your lashes as he lathered on the sunscreen.

After a moment he pulled his shirt over his head in that effortless way boys do so that he could get his chest immediately your body went hot because though you knew he was gorgeous, up close it was almost too much.

For a moment he attempted to coat his back and though he had pretty good flexibility, there was no way he could finish himself. Glancing around to make sure that your family wasn’t paying much attention to you, you grabbed the bottle from beside him and squeezed a dollop of lotion into your hands before holding them up toward him.

“Want some help?” You inquired and after getting his permission you proceeded to run the lotion into his skin, taking in the feeling of his muscles under your fingertips. Today was going to be the absolute death of you yet. Assured that his back and shoulders were now protected from the suns rays, you wiped the remainder of the lotion into your legs before standing and tossing your sun glasses onto the towel.

“I’m going in.” You declared, your eyes meeting your sister’s who simply smirked at you seeing Jeff at your side. The sand was hot under your feet and so by the time you reached the water, it’s coolness felt fantastic against your skin.

Resting your hands on your hips you simply let the waves lap at your legs for a moment before you started wading in, diving under the water entirely once it reached your waist. When you surfaced, Jeff was at the water’s edge and you raised an eyebrow at him.

“You coming?” You inquired, floating as much as you could while the waves crested and pushed you closer and closer to shore again. The lake was really your favorite place because it had the waves that made everything more fun but it was fresh water as opposed to salt that hurt your eyes.

Admittedly, it was sad when Jeff finally joined you, the water hiding his body from your eyes, but at the same time being close to him in general made your pulse jump.

“I didn’t expect you to get in the water so quickly.” He admitted as he floated next to you, the laughs of your cousins and sisters reaching your ears from just a little ways down the beach.

“We came to the lake for a reason.” You declared. “If I wanted to sunbathe we didn’t need to drive the hour up here. Plus I’ve always been a water bug.” Swimming though the waves again, Jeff followed, eventually tugging at your foot in order to get your attention.

His touch on your skin, even that of your foot, sent a jolt through your body and you resumed just treading water as you looked at him.

“Why didn’t you ask for an autograph or picture if you knew who I was?” He inquired softly, his voice and presence causing you to shiver.

“Because you’re clearly on vacation. I don’t know…I guess it just doesn’t feel right bothering someone like that even if they are a bit of a celebrity.”

“So you did want one?” He asked, his smile growing wider causing his dimples to really appear.

“Well yeah, but honestly I never expected to meet someone I was a fan of so the experience itself is enough for me.” Nodding to himself, Jeff reached out to splash you causing you to laugh. “Hey now. Play nice Mr. Skinner.” You scolded, squealing when his hands reached out to your waist pulling you closer to him.

“Are you a Sabres fan?” He asked, now doing most of the work to keep both of you afloat as you talked.

“Penguins actually. But I became a fan of yours after Jordan was traded to Carolina and I saw you play.”

“Hmm..” He hummed making you wonder what he was thinking.

“But Buffalo is a team that I watch on occasion, and that I usually don’t root against.”

“Well that’s good to know.” He stated. “Otherwise I don’t know if I could give you my autograph.” Laughing you squirmed from his grasp to swim a little more before deciding that you needed a break and moved to return to your towel on the beach.

Plopping down your sister tossed you another bottle of water as Jeff was still in the water for the moment.

“You look like you’re having fun.” She whispered to you and when you nodded she smiled. “Good. You deserve it.”

Obviously by now other members of your family noticed your company but you just prayed they didn’t say anything for now and that your dad didn’t recognize him. Your dad was the only member of your family into hockey enough that there was even a chance he’d recognize Jeff since he wasn’t a penguin.

Laying back on the towel you closed your eyes for a moment until water droplets fell onto you from above. Rolling your eyes, you watched Jeff as he sat down.

“What? You looked hot.” He teased. Actually your skin was quite cool still from the water and when you opened your mouth to comment, your brain realized what he had actually meant and you snapped it shut again. There was no way in hell that Jeff Skinner thought you were hot.

The two of you continued to chat about various things as you laid next to each other, everything from hockey, to what you were going to school for, future goals, your crazy family next to you. He had sisters as well so he totally understood being surrounded by woman and definitely sympathized with your dad and uncles who were in the same boat.

After awhile Jeff pulled his phone out of his pocket and told you to smile, snapping a couple selfies, some smiling, a few others with you making faces at him.

Sadly the rest of the afternoon went by way too quickly and it felt like no time had passed at all before your family was packing up to go home. After carrying your stuff to the car you made the excuse of needing to use the bathroom to sneak one more moment alone with Jeff. Standing outside the changing rooms he wrapped you into a hug, your nose pressed into the fabric of his t-shirt that smelled like salt from his sweat mixed with deodorant and laundry soap. It was a scent for you to associate with him.

“Can we keep talking?” He asked you and you looked up at him surprised. You really didn’t expect anything after today as great as it had been.

“Yeah of course.” You responded, and when he pulled you into a hug once more you heard him whisper ‘good.’ “I had fun today.” You commented as you started to walk back to the cars.

“Me too. This was definitely the highlight of my vacation.” You knew you needed to leave but again your body ached to remain close to him for as long as possible. “Hey. Come here for a second.”

Leading you over to his car, you couldn’t tell if it was actually his or just a rental, he opened the trunk and reached into a duffel bag, pulling out a hat. Another pocket contained a sharpie and after pressing the pen into the fabric for a moment, his tongue stuck out while he wrote he handed it to you.

“There. Now you’ll have an autograph and selfies.” He seemed pleased with himself as you slid the hat onto your head. “You look good in sabres gear. I’ll convert you yet.”

“We’ll see about that.” You said, smiling up at him. “Thank you for all this. Pretty sure it was the highlight of my vacation too.”

Turning to wave at him as you walked back to the car you couldn’t help but smile and wonder what fate had in store for you as he called out to you that he would text you.

____

Back in the car with your cousins, you slipped the cap off your head, finguring Jeff’s signature with a smile. Today had been the last thing you’d expected when you arrived for just another standard family summer vacation.

You were bound to be asked a thousand questions later but for now you were just going to think about the sweet, smiley, gorgeous NHL player that had absolutely turned your life upside down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some playful sexual innuendo and alcohol consumption in this chapter.

As you’d expected…your chance encounter and beach ‘date’ with Jeff had led to a million questions by your family, questions that for the most part, you didn’t have answers to. What you hadn’t expected to come from it all was regular contact, let alone a budding friendship. Yet, you were reminded of it all on a daily basis as texts from Jeff filtered into your phone. As the summer progressed, he’d send clips of his training or comments about how his sisters were driving him crazy and how he needed backup to handle them. 

By the time school was starting back up, in mid-August, you’d started having at a minimum a weekly conversation with Jeff. And if you were honest there was nothing you loved more than hearing him laugh as he told stories about his preparations for the upcoming season. It was crazy that you’d spent one afternoon with him and yet you found yourself missing his touch, his scent, and his attention in general. 

You’d been talking about your university’s football season and trying to get to as many home games as possible when Jeff suddenly stopped you, his excited tone of voice exclaiming that he had a fantastic idea. 

“I should come visit you and you can take me to a game…” His words were rushed and it took a moment for your brain to process them. 

“You really want to come here?” You found yourself asking, once again blown away at the fact that Jeff considered you a friend, and not just a friend but that kind of friend that you would cross state lines to visit just out of the blue. 

“Of course I do!” He exclaimed. “I won’t really have the chance to make a trip once the season starts so this would be perfect. I can spend time with you and you can teach me about your school’s football team.” 

With Jeff’s mind totally made up, plans were made in short order for Jeff to come down in less than a month. You didn’t have classes on Friday’s so he’d come down late Thursday so that you could go do something on Friday before the football game on Saturday and he’d leave Monday morning, taking in all of the time that he could without distracting you from your own priorities too much. 

In the week leading up to Jeff’s arrival, you worked not only to secure him a student guest ticket but also to get all of your classwork done so that there wasn’t anything to keep you from enjoying his visit. By the time he arrived Thursday evening, you were practically bouncing with the excitement of seeing him again, your body filled with more emotions than you could dissect. When his arms finally wrapped around you tightly in a hug, it was like everything was right in the world again and you clung to him for far longer than was probably necessary. 

Thursday evening was spent simply, curled up on the couch, tucked into Jeff’s side while a movie played on your tv. By the end of it, your head was resting in his lap and his fingers were carding gently through your hair, putting you to sleep. You’d insisted that Jeff didn’t need to pay for a hotel, that you could sleep on the couch and he could have your bed. He was too much of a gentleman for that though and so after bickering for a moment, the compromise was made that you were both adults that could share a bed. 

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d slept so well.

Friday was spent showing Jeff around your college town, pointing out your favorite hang-outs, the best restaurants, which buildings you’d had classes in and stories about the campus’s history. He’d insisted on trying one of the restaurants and swore he’d pout if you even attempted to fight him about paying for the meal. A pouty Jeff, while adorable, was the last thing you wanted so needless to say you didn’t put up a fight. 

With a 1pm kickoff Saturday morning, you were pulling Jeff out of bed shortly before 8am, giggling as he groaned and protested getting up so early. Still…there was tailgating to be done so you insisted, retreating to the bathroom to get yourself dressed before returning to find Jeff tugging a t-shirt with your school’s logo on. 

“When did you get that?” You inquired, secretly touched that he’d go to the effort to fit in and support the school that you attended and loved. His answer had been a casual ‘after we made plans’ that merely left you nodding as you grabbed your phone and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. Within a half-hour, you were in the section of the parking lot belonging to your program’s tailgate with some wine coolers and beer bottles tucked into a disposable bag. 

The look on Jeff’s face as he took in the crazy environment was priceless and you handed him a beer before grabbing a drink of your own. Music was pumping from tents all around you, there was every type of food you could think of and alcohol was everywhere. It didn’t take long for you to find some of your regular classmates and you were quick to introduce your friend Jeff to them. Here, especially with people already on their way to drunk, it wasn’t likely that anyone would recognize him and he could just be a simple Canadian boy and not a hotshot hockey superstar. 

Though you hadn’t doubted that Jeff would fit in just fine here, it still amazed you to see just how seamless it really was. You’d each had a few drinks before heading inside the stadium, just enough to be buzzed really, but the way that his cheeks flushed was really too much for your heart to handle as you reminded yourself repeatedly that as attracted to him as you were, you were just friends. 

As you curled up in bed that night, Jeff went on and on about how much fun he’d had and how he’d never met a girl that knew as much about sports as you did and how impressed he was by your passion for the sport. You’d joked in return that you had to make up for your lack of athletic ability somehow and you’d fallen asleep to the sound of Jeff’s giggle in your ears. 

~~~~~~

With a weekend that had flown by too fast in the rearview mirror, you were back to strings of texts and the rare phone call as both of your schedules got busier. If you had thought you’d missed him before, it didn’t come close to how much you missed him now. You knew that you were in way over your head with your feelings for him but you were determined not to screw things up because he’d given you no signal that he felt the same way. If you could only have him as a friend, well that would just have to be good enough. 

Still…you were counting the days until Jeff played in Pittsburgh. 

As the game approached Jeff hinted at you coming to the game but as it was a Tuesday night game you led him to believe that you had an evening class and wouldn’t be able to go. Of course, that wasn’t true but you wanted to surprise him. You also didn’t want him paying for your ticket but that was another matter entirely. 

With your ticket secured and just a few days to go, you messaged Jack Eichel on Instagram (he was the only one on the team who knew who you were) and asked him if he could arrange for you to see Jeff after. You’d explained how he couldn’t tell Jeff because you wanted it to be a surprise and with Jeff’s captain on board you had nothing to do but count the mere hours until you’d see him for the first time in two months. 

Arriving at the arena with your Penguins jersey covering your body, you made your way down to the glass near the bench side corner of the Sabres warm up end. You had no problem getting right by the glass since the sabres were the away team and once again all you had to do was wait. You couldn’t help but wonder if Jeff would spot you on his own, you certainly weren’t opposed to that idea, you just didn’t want to be pointed out to him. 

As the Sabres took the ice, you couldn’t help but notice the grumpy look on Jeff’s face as he skated around a few times before crossing to the circle opposite you to stretch. On the other hand, Jack spotted you immediately as he passed and the smirk on his face at your shared secret showed that he was clearly enjoying waiting for his teammate to notice. 

For the first half of warm-up, Jeff was completely oblivious to your presence and the grumpy look on his face stayed there as he had the equipment manager look at his glove by the bench. With Jack just a few steps to your right you decided you’d finally had enough and tapped on the glass to get Jack’s attention. 

“What’s up with grumpy?” You screamed through the glass, your cheeks flushing as Jack yelled back ‘what do you think….he’s upset a certain someone isn’t coming…’ You hadn’t realized that leading him to think you couldn’t come would affect Jeff so much. Sighing, you shook your head before mouthing ‘go get him…’ 

Though you weren’t happy that anyone in the immediate vicinity of you was now aware of what was going on, as you didn’t want to be the center of attention, you couldn’t bear seeing Jeff look so upset when you knew that it was something you had the power to fix. The moment you had given him permission, Jack went off to track Jeff down, chasing him into the corner where you were standing. Jeff seemed beyond confused but when Jack turned him around to face you, you watched as it all clicked in Jeff’s brain and suddenly a wide smile showing off his dimples took over his face. 

With his mission accomplished Jack skated away but Jeff stayed for a moment more, pressing his gloved hand to the glass in front of you as if he couldn’t believe that you were real. He motioned to your jersey with a critical expression and you couldn’t help but shrug, smirking back at him through the glass. Your eyes stayed fixed on his for a moment longer before you smacked the glass in front of you. 

“Get back to work!” You yelled through the glass causing Jeff to skate away, this time absent a grumpy look. 

As warmups ended and you headed up to your seat it was with a light heart. There was something different seeing Jeff smile and then knowing that it was there because of you. 

By the time the clock struck zero in the third period, you were feeling slightly conflicted emotions. You were disappointed and a little annoyed that the pens had lost but at the same time Jeff had scored and the pride you felt because of that and knowing you were so close to seeing him had you bubbling with excitement. Waiting in your seat as the arena started to clear out you slipped out of the jersey, leaving you in a white long sleeve shirt with a buffalo on the front and the number 53 on the back. Your jersey now tied around your waist, you headed to the elevator to meet the Sabres employee Jack assured you would be waiting there for you. 

From the hallway outside the away locker room, you could hear the hollering and celebratory energy from inside and it only helped to fuel your own anxiousness. You weren’t sure why you were feeling this way but over the past 4 months, you realized that you were closer to Jeff than you’d been to pretty much anyone else in your life and it felt like there was something more to your relationship. Today, seeing the way he reacted to you only made you wonder more if he felt the same way, though you would never bring it up because you were too scared to lose someone you cared about so much. 

You were suddenly pulled out of your jumbled thoughts by the sound of the locker room door opening and when you looked up Jeff was coming through it, dressed to the nines in his suit. 

Unable to help yourself you dashed across the few yards separating you and threw yourself at him, your arms wrapping around his neck as he quickly caught you. 

“You scored!” You exclaimed, words quickly silenced as his lips pressed against your own for just a moment before pulling away. You didn’t have a chance to even think about the fact that he’d kissed you before he started speaking. 

“You’re here….I thought you had class tonight?” The awestruck tone of his voice made your heart skip a beat and your fingers teased at the curls at the base of his neck as you made a guilty face. 

“As if a measly class would keep me away…” You started before quickly continuing. “But really…I don’t have class. I just said that to mislead you because I wanted to surprise you.” Jeff’s jaw dropped in shock and he pulled away just a bit. 

“Wow…fuck you.” He teased, pretending to be far more offended by that than he really was. Without a second’s hesitation, you leaned closer, stretching so that your mouth was just below his ear. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.” You teased back, and when you pulled away again Jeff’s cheeks were bright red and though he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly, no sound came out. 

Thankfully, before you could question whether maybe that statement had been a mistake, Jeff had composed himself and his hands at your waist were pushing you away from him just a step as he gazed down at the clothing covering your body. 

“Wait…is this?” He questioned, turning you a bit to confirm the answer to his own question before a satisfied grin took over his face. “It is.” He declared. 

“What…?” You shrugged. “You may never get me to root against my team…but I will always root for you.” You could feel the grin radiating through Jeff’s body as he held you close for another few minutes, soaking up what little time he had before he had to get back on the bus. 

When the time came that he did, in fact, have to leave, your bodies both sunk a little as he pulled away. “I’m so glad you came.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. Trying not to cry, you simply nodded at him and kissed his cheek before stepping back to watch him walk away. Just before he was out of sight he stopped and called your name. 

“Oh…and to answer your question. I would very much like that.” 

Maybe he did feel the same way after all…


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set Fri/Sat Dec. 13th/14th. 
> 
> Jeff's apartment and christmas tree inspiration: https://hockeylvr59.tumblr.com/post/648763598698659840/what-ifs-part-3-inspiration-jeffs-apartment

Light snowflakes were falling, landing on your car’s windshield and then quickly melting. Christmas music played softly over the radio, while you followed your phone’s navigation through the streets of Buffalo, New York. There was just something about Christmastime that caused little bubbles of joy and excitement to course through your entire body. Those bubbles grew two sizes larger when you thought about the week ahead. 

It had been a month and a half since you’d seen Jeff in the bowels of PPG Paints Arena, had felt his arms wrapped around you, felt the press of his lips against yours. Since then, you hadn’t been able to get those brief moments out of your head. Though you talked with Jeff basically every day, and your conversations had become more intimate, you hadn’t talked about the fact that he’d kissed you and you certainly hadn’t talked about his declaration that he would indeed like to fuck you. Finally though, after a month and a half, you were less than 12 hours away from seeing him face-to-face once more. 

Pulling into his apartment’s parking garage, you gathered the trash you’d accumulated during the six-hour drive before climbing out of the car, stretching out your body. You’d finished your last final this morning and per Jeff’s request had immediately packed up before hitting the road. You’d be asleep when he got in from tonight’s road game, but when you woke he’d be there and that was more than enough motivation to not delay your trip until tomorrow. 

Throwing your trash into your purse to take inside, you gathered the rest of your bags and locked your car. Stepping into the apartment complex’s lobby, you stopped at the doorman/security officer’s desk. Two minutes later, you had a key in hand along with a note and were directed to press the button for the fifteenth floor in the elevator. Stepping off the elevator, you searched for the right apartment, stopping in front of it with a sigh. Setting your bag down, you fumbled with the key for a moment but as soon as the door swung open you couldn’t help but smile. Though it was clearly a bachelor’s apartment, the atmosphere was immediately calming, something you very much needed after a long day. 

Setting your bags down, you slipped your shoes off and made your way into the kitchen where you leaned yourself against the counter to read Jeff’s note. His scratchy script urged you to make yourself at home, rambled about how excited he was to see you, insisted that you use the money he’d left on the counter to order dinner, and left channel information for the television so that you could watch the game. Just above the scrawled _Jeff_, his final sentence brought a warm flush to your cheeks. 

_The guest bedroom is all yours if you want…but I’d love nothing more than to come home to you in my bed. _

You’d shared a bed before, but that was prior to the not so innocent encounter you’d had in Pittsburgh. Still, something pushed you to carry your things down the hall, past what you assumed was the guest room and into what was clearly the master suite. Leaving them on the bed to deal with later, you returned to the main living space of the apartment, taking a few minutes just to wander around. Jeff had pictures of his family on shelves by the tv which was hung on the wall above a gas fireplace. Looking out the window, you could see the arena just a few blocks away and couldn’t help but laugh knowing Jeff hated long commutes. Turning back to the apartment’s interior, you noted that his large sofa looked warm and comfortable, and he certainly had a chef’s kitchen even if he was no chef. As promised, there were a pair of twenty-dollar bills tucked under a fruit bowl on the island and you decided maybe it was time for dinner since it was nearly seven o’clock. 

After searching for local restaurants you decided that game food sounded good and so you placed an order for chicken strips, mozzarella sticks, pretzel sticks, and deep-fried cheesecake for dessert. Since Jeff had threatened you not to even think about paying for the food yourself you complied and noted that you were paying with cash. With food on its way, you moved to try and figure out Jeff’s tv, settling it onto the channel for the game, pregame programming already playing. 

It wasn’t long before Jeff’s face came across the screen and immediately your heart fluttered. It was silly because you watched Jeff’s games all the time (at least when they didn’t conflict with the Penguins), but for some reason watching it while sitting in Jeff’s apartment felt different. Just before puck drop, you got the alert that your food was downstairs so after slipping on some shoes, you grabbed the cash and key and made your way down to get it. 

With dinner spread out across the coffee table, you got yourself a glass of water and settled in on Jeff’s couch. About midway through the first period, he snuck the puck through the goalie’s legs and into the back of the net causing you to let out a cheer. Just before the end of the second, he buried another puck past the goalie to give the Sabres a two-goal lead. Watching Jeff play so well made a content smile settle onto your face as you cleaned up your leftovers and trash before snuggling under the blanket that was tossed over the back of the couch. With your eyes occasionally fluttering shut, you missed what preceded the tussle Jeff was currently in with a player on the opposing team. Immediately anxiety filled your body, but soon you watched as Jeff was led to the penalty box appearing no worse for wear as he continued to chatter away. 

By the time the game ended, you had already started to fall asleep on the couch, so you decided it was time to head to bed, tidying up before locking the front door and retreating to Jeff’s bedroom. There you changed into pajamas before setting your suitcase on a chair in the corner. Brushing your teeth and washing your face was all you needed to do in the bathroom and after plugging your phone in, you flipped off the lights and tugged the covers back climbing into bed. Soon, with your body sinking into the comfortable mattress, you were out like a light. 

___

“Shh, it’s just me…go back to sleep.” You heard whispered as you stirred. You had no idea what time it was, but as the bed shifted beside you, part of you realized that Jeff had arrived home. Unconsciously, you shifted toward him and a warm set of arms draped around your waist as you settled your head against his shoulder and dozed right back off. 

When you actually awoke, the room was filled with the faintest morning light. It was only then that you processed the fact that your entire body was tangled with Jeff’s, pressed tightly against him. Your head was still on his shoulder, your bodies touching from your chests to your hips, and your legs were entwined with his. Your mind raced to figure out how to best extract yourself when you felt Jeff’s chest vibrate under you. 

“Morning.” He murmured, his voice groggy. Lifting your head, you glanced up to see that his eyes were still filled with sleep and he had a sleepy smile on his face as he gazed right back down at you. 

“Morning…” You whispered back, shifting the hand that had been curled against Jeff’s chest to run through your hair. 

“Sorry if I woke you coming in last night…” Jeff said, yawning softly. 

“I don’t think you did…” You whispered. “I don’t actually remember you climbing into bed.” 

“Then it was just your body that noticed.” Jeff teased. “Because you shifted to cuddle me immediately.” A warmth crept over your cheeks but Jeff’s smile only grew, still lazy and soft due to the early morning hour. “Was kinda nice,” Jeff explained with a small shrug. “Told you I wasn’t going to complain if you chose my bed.” He continued, his lips dropping to press gently against your forehead. 

After stretching slightly, you finally dropped your arm back to Jeff’s torso, your fingers grazing against his abdomen. A low groan slipped from his lips and he moved his hand to lace his fingers with yours. 

“As much as I wanna stay here…” He mumbled. “Want you to keep touching me.” He added under his breath. “We should probably get up before I have an even bigger problem.” This time when your eyes met his, they were a shade darker than just a minute ago and your saliva caught in your throat at what he was implying. 

“Mmmm…yeah…” You agreed, working to extract your body from his. “I um…I’m gonna use the guest bathroom real quick…do you have stuff for breakfast in your fridge?” Jeff’s expression was unreadable as he watched you climb from bed, making your way towards the hallway door. 

“I’m sure we can find something.” 

___

By the time Jeff made his way out into the kitchen, you had managed to find a package of pancake mix and some bacon and eggs in his fridge and were hard at work making breakfast. Without saying a word, Jeff moved to start some coffee before taking over the skillet with the eggs from your hands. 

“Let me help.” He chided. With the two of you working side by side, it didn’t take long to have breakfast made and once it had been served onto plates, Jeff paused, pulling you into his arms. “I haven’t had a proper hug yet.” He explained, almost whiny about it. Settling your arms around his waist, you returned his hug, enjoying the feeling of his arms around you. “So glad you’re here.” Jeff declared, kissing your head once more before pulling away.

Settled at his kitchen island you ate breakfast in comfortable silence. When you were finished, Jeff took your dishes and loaded them into the dishwasher. As he did so your eyes raked over his body, dressed only in sweats and a t-shirt. He was so attractive that you had to force yourself to look away before he caught you staring. 

“So what’s the plan for today?” You murmured, not sure what exactly he had in mind since you’d let him plan pretty much everything. “Or I guess I should ask about today and the rest of this week?” You added, realizing that beyond the fact that he had one home and one away game, you had no idea what his schedule was like. 

Jeff turned to lean against the counter across from you as he responded, his smile bright and eyes twinkling. 

“I thought maybe today you could help me decorate?” He suggested. “We have the day off so I’m all yours. Then tomorrow we just have practice so I was thinking you could play tourist for a bit and then we could go out for dinner, maybe introduce you to Jack or some of the other guys.” After laying out his thoughts for weekend plans, Jeff paused for a moment to let you respond, and when you simply nodded he continued. “Monday we play at home, I already have your game ticket. Tuesday is a quick up and back to Toronto, we’re literally flying up in the morning and back after the game. I think a few of the guy’s girls are going if you have your passport on you and would be interested, but no pressure there if you want to stay here and veg for a day.” Warmth flooded through you at Jeff’s acknowledgement that this trip could be a lot and that if you needed some quiet time during it that was more than okay. At the same time though you couldn’t help but feel slightly overwhelmed at fact that he wanted you to meet his teammates and their significant others. 

Jeff pulled his lower lip between his teeth and his fingers rubbed at his neck before he spoke once more. “And then uh…Wednesday we have our team Christmas stuff, an official organization family skate in the morning and then Jack is hosting just the team and dates to his place for the evening…” 

“Oh uh…” You breathed, having no idea that all of that was going on while you’d be here. Sensing that your brain was spinning away from you, Jeff rounded the island. 

“But uh…we can talk about that later. I don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Let’s just see how things play out okay?” He offered and when his fingers laced with yours you found yourself nodding. “Good…” Jeff breathed. “I just want you to enjoy being here.” His concern, the way his eyes spilled over you, it all made you want to shiver in the best way. 

“So…decorating?” You mused, bringing your mind back to focus on the day ahead instead of dwelling on everything else and the weight all of it held. 

“Yep…go get dressed.” Jeff prodded, lifting you off of the stool with ease and placing you on your feet. His show of strength sent a spark through you and you nodded, retreating back to the bedroom to dig through your bag for clothes. Fifteen minutes later, you had pulled on a pair of jeans, a snuggly sweater, warm socks, and had done a really light coat of makeup before sliding into your tennis shoes and grabbing your coat. 

“Ready?” Jeff inquired from his spot on the couch in the living room. 

“Yep.” You replied, taking in Jeff’s similar outfit and the way it clung to his form. Sliding your phone into your pocket and grabbing your wallet, you followed him down to the garage, sliding into the passenger seat of his SUV with just a little help. Once he had pulled the car out onto the downtown Buffalo streets, his hand fell to rest over yours and you looked over at him, biting your lip at how natural the warmth of his palm felt. 

With Christmas music playing over his car’s speakers, the drive was quiet and almost a bit stifling. Then Jeff murmured once more that he was really glad you were here and the way he glanced over at you told you that he meant that with everything in him. 

“I’m glad I’m here too.” You replied, heart fluttering a bit no matter how much you tried to control it. Jeff drove out of the city and into the surrounding suburbs before pulling into the parking lot of a Walmart. When he parked, you climbed out, dropping down onto the pavement before meeting him at the rear of the vehicle. 

“And here I thought you were taking me somewhere more exciting than a Walmart.” You joked softly, bumping your shoulder into his arm. Jeff’s cheeks turned a little pink as he walked beside you into the store. 

“I figured we’d get the ornaments and garland and everything first and then head to the tree farm to pick the tree.” He explained rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t really have any decorations here.” He mumbled under his breath causing you to look up at him curiously. “I’m fairly close to home, usually traveling, and haven’t really had a reason to decorate before.” He shrugged. You nodded, letting him grab a cart as you followed him into the store. In the back of your mind you couldn’t help but focus on his words though. Neither of the first two points had changed all that much so was the driving factor the third…and if so was that reason you? Though you wondered, you didn’t ask, instead just pushing it to the back of your mind once more. 

Being that it was already mid-December, the Christmas section of the store was fairly well decimated and you watched Jeff’s eyes go wide as if he didn’t expect that. Giggling to yourself, you moved over to the rack of tree lights which was mostly empty but still had a few boxes of both white and colored left. 

“What color lights do you prefer?” You asked him softly knowing that was as good a place as any to start. Jeff looked at you like he honestly had no idea so you grabbed the remaining few boxes of white lights, tossing them into the cart he was pushing. 

“I didn’t expect everything to be gone.” He whispered softly as he pushed the cart down the empty aisles. There was one container of white glass ornaments tucked onto the back of a shelf but otherwise there really wasn’t much of anything. 

“Jeff it’s mid-December.” You murmured back leaning against the cart. Sensing his distress you rested your hand over his. “Is there a Michael’s nearby?” You asked, pulling out your phone to check when he didn’t seem to know the answer. Finding one about fifteen minutes down the road, you grabbed the container of white balls since they’d go with anything, a box of ornament hooks, and you then urged Jeff to head to check out with your meager findings. 

Back at the car, you plugged the address into his GPS and squeezed his hand assuring him that Michael’s would have plenty of decorations left for him to choose from. It didn’t take long to drive to the craft store and when you led Jeff inside this time you couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on his face at seeing aisles upon aisles of Christmas and other decorations. Starting in the aisle full of ornaments, you asked him what he liked and what kind of aesthetic he wanted for his tree. 

For a moment he just looked back and forth like this was too many options before finally pointing to some wooden carved ornaments and how those looked kind of cool. Finally getting somewhere, you smiled and pulled a few of each design off the hooks setting them into the cart. After suggesting various colors of ornaments which received faces with varying degrees of dislike, you finally picked up a container of dark green balls and a pondering face crossed Jeff’s face. 

“Forest green with the white balls from Walmart and the wood?” You reminded him trying to get him to picture how it would all look together. 

“Do you think it would look good?” He asked and when you nodded he offered his hand out for the container to put it into the cart. Spotting a similar container that was just a little smaller with silver balls, you grabbed those as well putting them into the cart and shrugging at his questioning glance. 

“You need at least a little bit of sparkle. So just a little metallic.” You insisted. Deciding that should be sufficient ornament wise, you moved down the aisles to find something that would serve as a nice garland and fit with the aesthetic Jeff seemed to like. A few aisles over you found strings of wooden balls and you showed Jeff before adding them to the cart. Then you disappeared into the depths of the store before coming back with wide-width forest green velvet ribbon which would give the decorations just a little bit more depth. 

Jeff just watched you maneuver through the store before asking if you had everything you needed. For a moment you nodded but as you made your way to the check out, you spotted pine cones and added a container of those as well knowing that would be the perfect finishing touch. 

“Oh…we need a tree topper too.” You said, stopping out of nowhere right in front of the cart before tugging him off in the direction of the toppers before picking out a simple but pretty silver star to go on top. 

“Now are we done?” Jeff asked, though his expression was one of amusement not annoyance. Pausing for a moment to look over what was in the cart, you then nodded finally letting him go check out with all of your goodies. It was going to be a pretty tree, well once you actually picked out a tree. 

As Jeff unloaded the cart, you noticed that he had picked up a few small wreaths. One was just plain and you weren’t sure what he had in mind for that but the other was simple but pretty and perfect for a door and the command hook he unloaded alongside of it suggested that he’d thought the same thing. There was also a tree stand which was probably going to be helpful, and a white faux fur tree skirt. 

It didn’t take long for Jeff to pay for all of the decorations before grabbing the bags and guiding you back out into the cold weather to the car. Shivering slightly from the wind, you tugged your coat tighter around you as you climbed into the passenger seat again, reaching for the seatbelt. 

Within just a few minutes of Jeff starting the car though, you were warm from head to toe and you realised he’d turned the seat warmer on for you. While you were still in a fairly commercial neighborhood, Jeff pulled into a Starbucks drive-thru and ordered warm beverages for the next part of your day. From there he drove even further away from the city and you watched the northern New York countryside pass by your window unsure of whether the warmth you were feeling was solely emanating from the seat and beverage or from the way Jeff made you feel. 

As you drove farther into the countryside, a light snow covered the ground and trees making everything look that little bit prettier. Seeing the tree farm up ahead you couldn’t help but bounce a little in your seat because this was something you’d never done before. Your family has always had an artificial tree so you’ve never picked out a real one before. 

Following Jeff because he clearly knew what he was doing in this regard, you moved through the rows of trees behind him, eyes wide at just how many there were. 

“Have you seen any you’ve liked?” Jeff asked, popping up behind you somehow after a few minutes.” Jumping a little you smacked his arm gently for scaring you. 

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking for…” You murmured. “It’s your tree.” You reminded, shrugging your shoulders after sticking your hands back in your pockets because it was cold. Jeff’s chuckle filled your ears and he reached to pull one of your hands out of your pocket, tucking it into his own as he led you down the row of trees pointing out a couple that he liked. Reading his body language, you urged him that the one he really liked but wouldn’t say so was the one and after that he handed you the keys, kissing your temple and telling you to go warm up while he got the tree paid for, cut down, and loaded up. 

From the car you watched as, with the help of the lot’s employee, Jeff loaded the tree up onto the top of the SUV and got it tied down. Soon after that you were off to head back into the city Jeff asking what you wanted for lunch since it was already that time of day. 

“I can just make something when we get back.” You assured him, not minding cooking for the two of you. Jeff murmured back that he didn’t invite you here to cook for him all week and you sighed softly replying that you didn’t come up expecting to not do anything all week either and that you could handle a few meals. A moment later he nodded, deciding that this wasn’t something worth going back and forth over and he turned his attention back to the road as the city loomed in front of you once more. 

Having reached the garage of his building once more, you moved to grab as many shopping bags as you could so that you could get them inside and ready to decorate the tree which you weren’t quite sure how Jeff was going to get inside and up to the fifteen floor as you had a feeling it was too tall for the elevator. 

You realized Jeff had come to this same conclusion moments after you did when he cursed under his breath. 

“Let me get all the breakable decorations upstairs and then I can come help you with the tree?” You suggested. Jeff seemed to agree but when you came back down, he was carrying the tree with the help of the building’s doorman, brushing off your help and just asking you to go wait on his floor to open the stairway door. 

Shaking your head to yourself, you took the elevator back up not envying the poor doorman helping Jeff to carry a tree up fifteen flights of stairs. At the top, you waited for them, holding the door up when they approached and then moving to hold the apartment door open as well before moving out of the way as they leaned the tree against a wall. While Jeff talked to him, you retreated into the kitchen to try and figure out what to make for lunch, deciding to make up a quick stir fry because that wouldn’t take long after defrosting some chicken in the microwave. 

You were grabbing some things from his freezer and searching for another pan when Jeff appeared behind you making you jump again. 

“You gotta stop that.” You chastised, looking over your shoulder at him. “And I hope you are going to do something nice for your poor doorman.” You added teasing, nodding when Jeff assured you that he was getting him game tickets and a signed jersey. When he asked if he could help you shook your head telling him that he should go figure out where he wanted to put the tree and get it set up so that you could start decorating after lunch. 

“Alright, just holler if you need something.” He agreed before moving back around the island to the living room leaving you to navigate his kitchen to make up a quick lunch. By the time you had all your ingredients ready, the chicken was defrosted and you put it into the pan with just a little bit of water to start cooking, adding in the vegetables shortly after that. When everything was looking good and ready, you added in the stirfry sauce and added the rice to the small pot of water you had brought to a boil. 

Within 20 minutes you were serving lunch onto plates and calling Jeff to come eat, laughing at how he was struggling with the tree. Moving to lend him an extra set of hands quickly, you managed to help him get the tree into the base and secured so that it would stand on its own. Repeating that food is ready, you smile at how flushed his cheeks are before moving back into the kitchen teasing that now you understand why he’s never decorated before. 

Getting ice from the icemaker you didn’t hear him say that he never had anyone worth decorating for, though those words would have brought tears to your eyes if you had. 

___

After lunch you let Jeff finish up the dishes while you worked on pulling all the decorations out of their bags. With everything laid out, you turned some Christmas music on from your phone to set the mood again. 

When Jeff came in he turned on his gas fireplace and taking a strand of lights you’d already plugged in and checked from you, he started to wrap the lights amongst the branches working his way from the bottom of the tree up. It was almost seamless, the rhythm you settled into with you checking the lights and unwinding them before Jeff took them to continue wrapping around the tree until it was fully lit once plugged in. 

“It already looks pretty.” You grinned signaling to him that he’d done good work with the lights. 

Jeff just smiled that bright smile back and you reached to open one of the containers of ornaments while also grabbing the box of hooks. Again, the two of you took turns putting hooks on the ornaments and handing them to each other, making sure that each color and type was dispersed evenly around the tree. As you hung one of the wooden ornaments toward the middle of the tree you felt Jeff press up behind you, hanging a silver ball above your head. The heat of his body made you shiver and as he pulled away his hand slid along your waist as he steadied himself. You didn’t say anything for a moment before asking him to hand you one of the green balls. 

Jeff pressed against you from behind twice more while tucking pinecones up into the branches of the tree and he slid against you while passing to grab the ribbon to drape around it. Each time he did so, a jolt sparked through your body, but that little voice in the back of your mind insisted that he didn’t mean it like that. Focusing on draping the wood garland so that it was spaced opposite the ribbon, you didn’t see Jeff’s eyes rake over your body or the way they softened as you hummed along to the Christmas carols. When everything was finally on the tree you reached to hand him the star to top it off insisting that he do it since it’s his tree. 

For a moment Jeff hesitated before he reached to set the star on top before stepping back to admire the tree with you for a moment before you shifted it back toward the wall and got it plugged in, adding water into the base now that it wasn’t going to be moved anymore. The final step was adding the skirt around the base which Jeff insisted you do since you were already down there with the water. Once that was done, you smiled at how pretty it looks and hugged him from the side declaring that it looked worthy of a magazine. 

Cleaning up the packaging, you watched as Jeff moved to hang the one wreath on his door while the other was placed under the fruit bowl in the center of his island with pinecones and a small green and white ornament tucked into it. 

“Good work Mr. Skinner.” You grinned, washing your hands from the pine so that any pollen didn’t irritate your eyes. “Your apartment is ready for Christmas now.” His dimple was showing and his eyes flashed with something you didn’t understand as you peeked over at him suggesting that they watch a Christmas movie since they were done decorating. 

Jeff agreed and you settled onto the couch handing him the remote as he pulled your feet into his lap before draping the throw blanket over your legs. After checking for your approval, he settled on Elf and you couldn’t help but smile as he quoted along to the movie. 

Pausing after one movie to order dinner in and eat, you settled back in, bellies full, this time putting on the first Santa Clause. Instead of sitting like you had before, this time you sat next to him, leaning into the same space. When his thumb dropped down to brush against your inner thigh part way through the movie you felt a buzz form low in your core that didn’t stem from the bottle of wine you’d shared with dinner. 

Jeff seemed to have no idea of what he was doing nor any idea the effect it was having on you. Yawning slightly, you murmured that you were going to go use his bathroom to shower if that was okay. You weren’t really paying attention to the movie anyway and you needed a moment to breathe. You’d thought that things with Jeff were different than they had been before Pittsburgh, but he hadn’t made a move or anything so maybe you were wrong. Either way there was no way you were going to stay sane with the pressure of his thumb against that part of your body. 

Tonight, when Jeff slid into bed beside you, you were going to keep some distance. As much as your body wanted to be close to his, it was for the best because there was no way you were going to make it through a week here with him if you didn’t, even if he was your best friend.


End file.
